Tag Archives: homeschooling

The Gospel, Christian Parenting & Schooling Options, Part 2

Last week, I wrote a post on how the gospel of Christ must shape the approach to schooling for Christian parents.

There is great benefits to a church community that embraces all of the schooling options provided in our culture, but it requires that families have confidence in the gospel of Christ and not their “right way” of schooling. When this confidence in Christ prevails, it leads to families who do not condemn others for choosing a different schooling option while allowing for collaboration across the various schooling perspectives.  Each option of schooling has its benefits and challenges for Christian families who seek to embody the gospel of Jesus Christ. We also must understand the full implications of believing in the gospel of Jesus Christ as the definer of all of our lives, including family life.

Placing your faith in Christ as Lord and Savior, believing that having faith in Christ’s perfect life, death on the cross for your sins, and believing in His bodily resurrection from the dead requires that we bring our life and our life’s purpose under God’s gracious reign. In parenting, this means Christians aim to raise their children to know and live like Jesus. The scriptures go on to say that this is displayed through a lifestyle that reflects Christ’s holiness in morality, but also His gracious boldness in mission. For families in the church, personal morality and gracious engaging culture on mission have often been seen as mutually exclusive, but the gospel of Christ demands both.

This means that schooling options and outside of schooling family life must be evaluated in how it influences the family’s ability to truly follow Christ. This perspective leads us to ask what are the benefits and challenges for families trying to reflect Jesus in each of their schooling environments.

These are broad strokes that attempt to take complex family situations and summarize them in simple phrases of benefits and challenges. They are not comprehensive. (yes, this is my disclaimer of my own imperfection)

Private School

I’m distinguishing between private schools and private Christian schools because they have different benefits and challenges.

Benefits

Excellent schooling
Many private schools promise preparation for a great future in education and career success. Private schools carry with them a reputation of future success based on their rigorous education. This helps families embody the gospel of Christ by honoring God with excellence in education that can lead to influencing culture for the common good, not just the exaltation of a Christian nation.

Provision for Gospel Mission

While many parents choose private schools because of their education reputation, one thing they may overlook is the opportunity their family now has in displaying Jesus to an area that can typically lack a gospel presence. Christian families have the opportunity to display the grace of God to their children in an environment where acceptance is usually based on individual performance. This contrasts with the gospel proclaiming acceptance through faith in Christ alone.

Challenges

Stressful high performance atmosphere

The challenge for families in this environment is not crushing your children under the weight of stressful performance. Your child may excel at school and yet have their soul crushed by the demands of achievement. Private schools cultivate an environment that will challenge parents in encouraging their children to not base their worth on the grade or rank in class. The freedom the gospel of Christ brings in the area of performance can actually enhance their performance because it places the performance of Christ over the performance of self. This realignment is freeing to pursue excellence without anxiety.

Financial burden

The cost of private school is beginning to trump the cost of Ivy League education. While the church needs families who display the gospel in every socio-economic class, the financial burden can be a challenge to stewarding resources for God’s kingdom first.

A Culture that can Lack Diversity

While many private schools are seeking to improve diversity, they predominantly have one demographic. For families who are seeking to prepare kids to love all different types of people, they will have to identify ways outside of their natural schooling environment.

Public School

Benefits

Preparing for Authority Outside the Home

This is true of private schools as well but I didn’t want to keep repeating everything. One of the primary roles of parenting is to be the life teacher of their children. Deferral parenting prevails throughout schooling outside the home, but parents never move on from being their children’s educator. Schooling outside the home provides focused time for children to be educated by trained educators and freedom to parents to become supplemental educator.

This is a great opportunity to educate in the gospel of Christ or provide additional focus in areas of weakness for your children. Eventually, children will work for someone else and schooling outside the home prepares them to work for an authority that may not reflect the character of Christ. Following Jesus’ example and the teachings of scripture, Christians are to honor all earthly authorities as set up by God ultimately.

Exposure to diversity & culture

There are certainly public schools that lack diversity, but the majority of public schools provide the other education of social intelligence. It is increasingly important in our country that our children learn to appreciate the cultural distinctive and learn to extend the gospel of Christ to a variety of belief systems. This provision of gospel mission is a challenge to any family, but by living this in front of your children, you are educating them with & without words to love people for their dignity as God’s creation and not simply because they benefit you.

Challenges

Quality of education

In many areas of the country, the quality of education through public schools is lacking and not getting much better. Parents are faced with the challenge of valuing education, seeking education reform for the benefits of the children in their area while seeking the best education for their own children.

Environment that can contrast home

Just as the world around us does not always reflect the values of a Christian family’s home life, the public school does not promote Christianity. This can be a challenge and an opportunity for parents to prepare their children for a society that does not believe the same as them.

Family time becomes dictated by school

Schooling outside the home is giving up autonomy and freedom for families for vacations and family activities. A lot of people, Christians included, don’t like giving up autonomy to a perfect and gracious God, let alone to an impersonal institution.

Private Christian School

Benefits

Christian-based environment

This provides an environment that seeks to reinforce the home environment while seeking to provide an excellent education. This has its advantages in assisting parents in educating their children in the truths of the scriptures and in the lifestyle that models Christ. It does not always reflect it perfectly, so parents must beware of deferral parenting in this environment.

Quality of Education

The quality of education is also typically better and similar to the benefits mentioned for private schools.

Challenges

Lack of gospel mission as family

Natural relationships that can come from private school or public school do not exist in this environment as readily and will require that families find ways to incorporate the mission and mercy of Christ into their rhythm of life.

This also plays into the lack of diversity mentioned above. Christian families must ask whether they are seeking private school for educational purposes or for child-protective purposes. Pursuing a safe and secure place can be beneficial to a point, but safety as governor of a child’s life can impede the mission of God in their future. I’m not advocating throwing them to the wolves of culture, but in light of the gospel this must be considered.

Homeschooling

Benefits

Time

There is a benefit for families to dictate their time and even utilize their time for great extension of the gospel as a family through having more autonomy of schedule. Families can dictate their time and this provides great responsibility for families in stewarding their time for God’s ends and not their own comfort alone.

Parents who shape the content & environment

Parents are able to determine the curriculum and shape their children’s education and the environment where they learn. This enables parents to customize their children’s education to enhance their strengths, to supplement their weaknesses and even add classes not naturally provided in public school environments.

Challenges

Teaching & Parenting, especially w/ multiple kids

While parents never stop being a teacher of their children in general, they don’t always have to provide grades. The mix of being a parent that loves unconditionally and a teacher that grades conditionally can be a challenge in seeking to reflect the gospel of Christ. This gets enhanced when trying to parent younger children and educate older children.

Social constraints

The very nature of homeschool provides constraints socially and culturally. This can be overcome, but the gospel of Christ that prepares every child for eventually interacting with the culture demands that families consider how they will supplement their homeschool to provide social interaction. Children need friends and need friendships that become best friendships and need to deal with the loss of friendships.

Using Time for God’s Mission

The flexibility of homeschooling can be a temptation for many Christian families to focus on one-half of the gospel, moral adherence. This is the natural tendency of many in the American church and while moral adherence must not be sacrificed, children must be prepared for it to be confronted by the culture around them. We do not live M. Night Shyamalan’s Village and must not be naïve as parents in assisting our children in encountering culture.

Charter School

Benefits

High-performance of a private school without the cost

The rise of charter schools has provided quality education without the natural cost. The challenge can be getting a spot in the competitive lottery system.

Diversity of beliefs & cultures found in public school

A natural provision of gospel mission enables families to reflect the gospel as similarly described in public school above without some of the challenges facing public school parents with low quality of education.

Challenges

High-stress & typically time consuming environment

All success comes at a cost and with charter schools that can be the sacrifice of time and the increase of a stressful environment. Parents will battle the similar challenges as private school families.

Processing culture

Accompanying diversity of beliefs and culture is the challenge for parents to help their children process the differences without condemning others that are not like us. The gospel of Christ offers an inclusive invitation to all to an exclusive claim that Jesus Christ alone is Lord & Savior. That’s a challenge for me to process let alone to assist children in dealing with these challenges as they face other children from different cultures and belief systems.

Conclusion

While the scriptures and the gospel of Christ do define one “right way” to educate your children, the gospel of Christ must shape our approach to understand the benefits we are choosing and confronting the challenges we will face as families who adhere to the Christian faith. Churches with a diversity of schooling families benefit as these families collaborate instead of condemn one another.

We eventually chose public school and I will be writing about why we chose public school while providing an update on Eli’s first year in public school in the near future.

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The Gospel, Christian Parenting, & Schooling Options

When I first became a parent I was taken aback by how quickly I wanted to find the right method of parenting and trumpet it as the authoritative way that every parent should do it! It wasn’t just me though, everyone reads and discusses being an attachment parent, if you’re going to Ferber-ize your child and everyone has their own advice they’d like to give you.

It can be a stressful situation that new parents find themselves in because it feels like there should be ONE right way that you HAVE to figure out or you’re going to screw up your kid for life. This is true for any parents, but I especially saw the debate inside of a church setting as even more heated. This is the result of people baptizing their family preferences in the gospel of Christ and seeking to make it an absolute truth that everyone should follow.

This is made worse by the fact that disagreeing on parenting methods is seen as an inappropriate conversation in many circles. People feel judged and offended, but we were blessing to be living inside of a Christian community that didn’t allow it to be an off-limits conversation.

It helped us to distinguish between gospel-centered parenting and preference-exalting parenting. Gospel-centered parenting sees the truths of Jesus Christ’ life, death, and resurrection and the scriptures as the primary focus and principles that shapes all of parenting. This outlines the purpose of a family, how the mission of God is accomplished as a family, and how the family is to interact with one another, the church, and the world. It informs the principles, attitudes, discipline and education for children in parenting.

Preference-exalting parenting agrees with gospel-centered parenting but typically goes beyond that to define the exact methods that must be followed to accomplish all that parenting entails. This happens when homeschooling parents are ostracized as culture-fearing super-protective parents and this also happens when people interpret the scriptures admonition to educate in the Lord to only mean classical Christian education condemning those who choose public school.

As my kids have grown and the schooling conversation has entered our lives, it’s felt like we had our first baby all over again. Questions, our convictions and desires,  along with other people’s convictions and preferences were coming at us. Can you be a Christian parent and send your child to public school? Does being a Christian parent mean homeschooling or private Christian schooling?

It has been a challenging process of asking and exploring these questions theologically, practically, and discussing these ideas with a number of other people and families. It has become clear that many people want to exalt their way of schooling as the perfect way to follow Christ and be a Christian parent, but God does not spell out a perfect method of schooling.

Christian parents are tasked with the responsibility to educate their children in the scriptures, the gospel of Jesus Christ and develop them to be able to maturely encounter a world that increasingly doesn’t believe the same truths.

The education of a child plays into this task tremendously, so parents must explore and examine the best route for their child, their family, and themselves for schooling. There is not just one option for Christian families and the church must be more open and ready to equip families to enjoy the benefits and tackle the challenges of each.

As each Christian family decides how to educate their child, the gospel of Jesus Christ gives them the freedom to have confidence in their choice without condemnation of those who do not choose the same as them. When a church is filled with families who have confidence in their families approach to education, they can be a collection of families who collaborate for the holistic flourishing of the children in the church and in their city.

Not One, but Many Schooling Options for Christian Families

There are predominantly 5 major options for a Christian family when approaching education. Each of them has their challenges in seeking to follow Christ, but the church should encourage, and needs, gospel-centered families in every single option. The mission of the church is to display and declare Jesus to every sphere of life and schooling is one of those spheres.

Currently, here are the 5 options I see:

  1. Private School
  2. Private Christian School
  3. Public School
  4. Homeschooling
  5. Charter School

We spent a year exploring these different options before enrolling Eli in public school here in New York City and it’s been amazing, but it hasn’t been without its challenges.

I’m hoping to discuss the benefits and challenges for gospel-centered parenting that each of these options present another time.

Here’s the major challenge and the most necessary thing for a church community to encourage for families. Families need to be encouraged to have confidence in their schooling choice without condemning others and families need to collaborate for holistic flourishing.

Confidence without Condemnation

There have been times when I have felt condemned and even seen as foolish for sending my child to public school, as if I’m failing them in their spiritual journey by sending them to public school. I also know that others families have felt condemned by me because of our confidence in sending our children to public school.

I’ve seen too many Christian parents that seem almost embarrassed about their schooling choice, whatever it may be, and that needs to change. Families should be confident in the direction and vision they have for their families to be educated and their families to embody Jesus in every environment.

Without confidence, condemnation will be felt and conveyed, but confidence provides the freedom to communicate the motivations for the schooling options. This sets you free from the need to exalt your choice above others and the ability to acknowledge and understand others’ choices.

Collaboration For Every Holistic Flourishing

Since each schooling options provides its unique challenges, I imagine the beauty of collaboration among families. Imagine the homeschooling families sharing their wisdom in teaching their children scriptural truths being shared with families of children who only have a few hours every night and weekends to do so because of school outside the home.

Imagine public, charter, and private school families inviting their homeschooling friends to share in the social and missional benefits they lack from schooling at home.

I see great benefit, encouragement, and empowerment in families with confidence in their schooling choice seeking to collaborate for the benefit of their children. The gospel of Jesus Christ calls us to be an alternative community in our way of living, but also to be that community in the midst of people who believe differently than we do.

For families, the way we educate our children has implications for our ability to embody the gospel to one another and to the world around us. We have a responsibility to our kids, but also to our neighbor’s kids so we must take that corporate responsibility to seek the holistic flourishing of our families and the families of our city.

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